What is
Having Your Children's Hearts?
Empowered Hearts Ministry is a ministry of the heart, where our goal is to help you become competent working in the heartbeat of your family, so you can have and hold your children’s hearts and write the best possible family story.
The heartbeats of these two precious ones still capture my breath!
You and I both know the heart is much more than just a physical organ. We think of it as the center of our being, which is a bit ambiguous, and some would say even mysterious.
The heart can be a foreign and unknown place for someone whose heart was neglected their whole life—left to its own wisdom, uneducated and untrained. However, the heart can also be a known, familiar and very comfortable place for someone who received lots of positive and intimate influence by a loving parent and/or the Holy Spirit.
I want to show you that the heart is a vital relational entity—God even says so—and as such it can be de-mystified enough for our practical purposes toward inner growth—both relationally and spiritually.
God’s Workplace Is the Lining of Our Heart
Here’s a Scripture passage where God makes it abundantly clear that He wants to work in our heart.
“This time I’m writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I’ll be their God, they’ll be my people. They won’t go to school to learn about me, or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons. They’ll all get to know me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great. They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.” – Hebrews 8:6 The Message
God, our Heavenly Father, works in the lining of our heart. “Lining” always reminds me of the old days when I used to sew my clothes. I made a wool suit that had to be lined, every piece of the garment including the sleeves of the jacket. The reason is wool stretches and loses its form. Without a nice lining to keep the shape of the garment, it will stretch out in every direction, becoming misshapen.
I love the descriptive of the Lord’s work in the lining of our heart—setting His wisdom in all the places of our heart, so we don’t spread out every which way following our own sloppy wisdom. Our heart is the Lord’s canvas, stage, and platform to work in our lives.
The Lord goes on to say that we will know Him first hand when He accomplishes His work. This makes the heart a vital relational entity, the place where God communicates with us, and where He wants us to relate with Him.
God also commands us as parents to do the same kind of work in our children’s hearts that He does in our heart. Here it is in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 TAB.
“And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be [first] in your own minds and hearts: [then] you shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
This little one's heartbeat is so delightful!
Here again, God’s workplace in our lives is in our heart, and in turn we are to work in our children’s hearts, and to do so relationally. Our relationships are the vehicle for God to work in our heart and for us to work in our children’s hearts.
The Lord’s work in us is not done in a schoolroom or in front of a prepared curriculum, or through a batch of information we’re supposed to learn. The vehicle for the Lord’s work in us is through our relationships. How we interact throughout the day, from sun up to sun down, is what God is looking at. He wants to influence all of that with His loving correction and instruction.
It seems that if the heart is the place we are inviting Jesus to live and work in our lives, we need to understand what He wants to do there, so we can learn how to intentionally cooperate with His work. Then we’ll have more clarity for what to do in our children’s hearts.
Vague Christianeze
This one's giggles and kisses take my breath away!
Let’s discuss some of the common expressions about the heart that we’ve all probably heard over the years in church circles. My friend, Barbie Poling, offered her thoughts from being churched her whole life. She viewed the heart as the “deepest part” of her person—the place of connecting with God, but not in any real practical sense.
She said that if I had told her to “work in your children’s hearts”, she would think in general terms that she was to make sure they turned out to be Christians, or that they were supposed to want the same things she did, or that they didn’t rebel.
You can see that Barbie’s old ideas of what it might mean to work in her children’s hearts didn’t actually point to any practical functions. Rather it just showed a value system she wanted for her children. She still didn’t really know what the “work” consisted of.
Here are some common expressions about the heart Barbie heard in church circles, and what she thought they meant:
- "Ask Jesus into your heart”
This used to mean to allow Jesus to be a part of your life or your forever friend—whatever that means to you—a nebulous idea to say the least. - “Give your heart to the Lord”
This meant that you were willing to live your life in service to the Lord. - “Let God touch your heart”
This meant to pause for a moment to experience emotion about the Lord or to “feel good”. - “Focus your heart on the Lord”
This meant to think thoughts about God and who He is. - “Love the Lord with your whole heart”
This meant to enjoy a life of church service and activity with other believers.
I hope you can see that these meanings of common expressions about the heart leave believers open to suggestion, and give no practical application in a relationship with God that changes lives.
To Have and to Hold Your Children’s Hearts
Remember the phrase from traditional marriage vows—“to have and to hold from this day forward…”? Marriage can be the hardest relationship most people will ever have, but it can also be a tremendous blessing to live life together with your best friend.
There’s a difference between having someone’s heart and having their commitment simply because you’re living life together. Have you ever thought about that? Do you have and hold your spouse’s heart today? Does your spouse have yours? I want you to learn how “to have and to hold” your spouse’s heart, and the hearts of each of your children.
My Sweet Hearted Girls ~ Summer 2006
I listen to podcasts of different Christian leaders, and they’ll be talking about “having your children’s hearts”. I’ll be waiting for them to make a clear point about what that means to them, and how they help parents do that, but they never do. Sometimes, it seems they’re going to say something practical, and in my mind, I can finish their statement, but then they go off on something completely irrelevant. They are extremely vague, and really don’t seem to know themselves. I can only imagine the confusion this brings to moms who are sincerely looking for real answers to their concerns.
I want you to see the dynamic scope of work God is giving us as parents. I want you to be profoundly shocked to discover how much we’ve been taught to disengage from our children, and how much we’ve been taught to overlook. The lifestyle example from the church and society tempt us to neglect our God-given parenting responsibilities, reducing the roles of parenting and discipling down to a mere transfer of information to our children while we provide for their physical needs.
Would you like some clarity? I’ve identified 10 functions of the relational heartbeat, and will be sharing them with you in the next few articles. I know you’ll enjoy getting more vocabulary for the important work you’re doing in your family.
Some of you who’ve read my book, Empowered—Healing the Heartbeat of Your Family, have worked in your children’s hearts for a few years, and it shows! I’m so grateful with you for all the Good Lord has done to heal the heartbeat of your families.
Do you remember what you used to think it meant to “work in your children’s hearts” or to “have your children’s hearts”? Do you have clarity now? Please let me know in the comments below!
If you’re just starting out on this journey toward Christ’s heartbeat, can you share what you think it means to “work in your children’s hearts”? I’d love to hear your thoughts as well!
Dear Hearts, no matter where you’re at in your journey, God is so faithful to give you clarity and practical instruction when you are seeking answers from Him for your parenting. I’m grateful to be playing a part in that with you!
I love the heartbeat of my mom friends who want the Lord's best for their families!
NEXT ARTICLE
#2
RELATIONAL FITNESS
YOUR FAMILY'S HEARTBEAT DEPENDS ON IT
